Calvo obtains stick; Ragnaros missing

FIRELANDS—Autumn Sun junior officer Calvo received the coveted Branch of Nordrassil this past Tuesday.

"He earned it," said Ceipher, Calvo's senior officer. "I can't think of anyone that works harder at riding the backs of his fellow teammates."

The beautifully decorated wooden rod was recovered with a massive effort from Calvo's guild, spanning weeks of effort that will no doubt be taken for granted by the entitled gnome mage.

Witnesses at the scene described Calvo as "bald" and "efflorescent".

"I can't wait to get started on the next part!" said the elementalist, ignoring the audible groans from his raiding team in the background. "My favorite part of getting it was when I got it!"

-

In other news, the Firelord Ragnaros has been reported missing from his infernal abode in Sulfuron Keep. The whereabouts of the Father of Flame are currently unknown, but the police suspect a mature, friendly guild with 6 bank tabs. Any new information should be reported to PSI Investigators.